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Alive From Fresno

by Del Water Gap

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1.
When you’re tired I’ll take it slow till you fall into place
 And I start pulling at your clothes, the look upon your face leaves me wasted
 You lift up your hips for me to help me take it off 
And would you fake it to be good to me, cause I’ve been proven wrong
But you’re shaking, yeah you’re shaking and making noise Don’t say nothing, cause I love you when you don’t know what to say 
It helps me make you something that I wouldn’t ever have to change You turn twenty-one tomorrow, go cut up your fake
 Yeah you tell me you like older men, well I’m twenty-four in may
 And in the quarter-century I’ve lived, I only bought a double bed to sleep with you Sitting here in old New York, I picture you in love
 With some honey-boy you met him back at home when you were younger
And you adore the way he moves, just like I adore you Please say something, cause I’ve been growing lonesomer each day
 And I need your questions to even feel a little bit okay Tell me how you slept last night, did you wake in a daze 
Of memories from ‘fore you knew my name?
 And tell me what can make you cry, did you eat enough today?
 Cause you’re looking awful skinny in the face Don’t say nothing, cause I love you when you don’t know what to say 
It helps me make you something that I wouldn’t ever have to change Don’t say nothing, cause I love you but you gotta act your age
 To help me make you something that I wouldn’t ever have to change To help me make you something that I wouldn’t ever have to change 
To help me make you something that I wouldn’t ever have to change
2.
Hey, when she looks sad I get horribly nostalgic for the times we had Throwing plates, surprise attack Yeah we fought like we were acting in an improv class But through it all we still managed to laugh Do you take me as I am? Cause I’ll take you as I am And I don’t take things lightly And I feel nothing mostly all the time Am I dead behind the eyes from loving you too tightly? That reminds me Of a poster I saw hanging at the dentist I was late for my appointment But the lady at the desk was awfully patient She said, “honey won’t you sit across from me? Pour yourself a coffee, choose a magazine.” Do you take me as I am? Cause I’ll take you as I am And I don’t take things lightly And I feel nothing mostly all the time Am I dead behind the eyes from loving you too tightly? Do you take me as I am? Cause I’ll take you as I am And I don’t take things lightly And I feel nothing mostly all the time Am I dead behind the eyes from loving you too tightly? Too tightly?
3.
Man, I just wanna live a day as a blonde I’ll look like Jessica Chastain Get mistaken for a man with a job Taking sessions on my lunch break You won’t believe what an apartment will cost Been living right by the freeway Watching TV in my Dollar-Store-Socks I don’t get out much these days Convince myself that I’ve been talking too much Picture hours of replay It’s pretty lonely just writing a song When you know your friends are all moving away And I just wanna see a picture of mom From when she was my age Was she hard to get as everyone thought Was she happier in those days Sleeping, getting paid Subway’s running late Leaving the rest up to question Just to find that you ain’t got it made Weather ain’t been bad Floss and take a bath Leave all the rest up to question Just to find you hardly ever laugh Man, I just wanna be the type to forget Oh, the embarrassing montage Seeing picture from when I was a kid Down at the beach with my brother And I don’t wanna be a ghost when I’m dead I think I’d tire of jump scares Sitting quiet at the foot of your bed Watch you crying from the top of the stairs Work out, pay the rent Thinking bout your ex Leaving the rest up to question Just to find that you got nothing left Fall back out of love Take too many drugs Leave all the rest up to question Just to find that you ain’t young enough And when I’m feeling sad Just remember that I’ve got songs to hide behind until the feelings pass It ain’t much of a life But maybe once or twice I’ve felt magic touching pen to paper in my time
4.
When you’re drunk you love sending me photos of you with nothing on but your shoes When i sleep late always have some kind of dreams of you I will not mention what we do When i wake up it’s almost supper And you come back to haunt me, don’t you? You shaved your head just two days before I met you with your best friend in your room I thought you were by far the prettiest girl in the room with no hair hiding none of you When it grows back you’ll find another And you’ll go back to Philly, won’t you? On your wall you hung that sock I left in your room Was it Hanes or Fruit Of The Loom? On your laptop saw that sticker I gave to you With my band name written right through it When it peels off you’ll want another Then you’ll go back to Philly, won’t you? You’ll go back, you’ll go back You’ll go back and live in that apartment where you’ll learn to be alone Picture that, picture that Picture me drunk calling you on Friday nights Begging you to meet me halfway love I pray your mom ain’t lonely in that big old house in the suburbs Do you reckon she misses her daughter? Do you reckon she’d find another If you don’t go back to Philly, lover?
5.
Where you been of lately? Cause I’m missing your cheeks The ones upon your face babe And the ones above your knees You could be a meal now Leave nothing but your ribs Or I could settle you a new town In the mountains where you lived when you were just a kid and I swear I laid down my arms on the day you came along Yeah I laid down my arms on the day you came along “How can I be helpful?” Said the lady on the phone “Oh and ain’t the weather dreadful? It’s all a plan to keep us alone.” Pinch me, pinch me, pinch me So that I know I’m awake And what does “teach your man to fish” mean? It’s to survive another day I’ll hold you if you hold you Self-respect I pay it back And tell your old boy that’s the old you So he don’t come around here thinking that he’ll get you back cause he won’t though I laid down my arms on the day you came along Yeah I laid down my arms on the day you came along I spent my whole life fighting fear after fear yeah all my days, all my days I’d do them over and over and over and over again I’ve been right here before I’ve made up my mind Yeah all my days, all my days I’d do them over and over and over and over and I laid down my arms on the day you came along Yeah I laid down my arms on the day you came along Where you been of lately Cause I’m missing your cheeks
6.
Lord don't let me wake at night Picturing the hands that might be holding her Though we're far past burned I left her for to grow up in The burned out hole, the skeleton of our parents debt That this city kept But please don't let me think of that, please don't let me think of it I've wrote songs for skinny girls Who could bare to let me hurl my soul to them And stick to plans You start with one and end with three It's all for fun until it's bad to me and I lose my grip And I fall in it But please don't let me think of that, please don't let me think of it Please don't let me think of that, please don't let me think of it Carola told me on Lexington Baby when you're older you can have me then I'll still want your love when you lose your touch Smoking reds I had her on my back I think of then and I imagine that I should've kissed Those famous hips I'd scream promise me this ain't all for dead Did I waste your time pulling thread by thread? That stuff is cash and you lose it fast But please don't let me think of that, please don't let me think of it Please don't let me think of that, please don't let me think of it Please don't let me think of that, please don't let me think of it
7.
I'm halfway there Happened to stop by Courtney's Bought you some shit you don't need I'm halfway there Hope you don't see me coming I might be walking funny I might be I had a plan to take you by the hand Till I saw you leaning her against your door Never meant to call, never meant to call Never meant to call when she's in your room Never meant to call, never meant to call Never meant to call when she's in your room Where went my day? I hope you know you caught me Can't seem to say the right things Still on my way Showed up to high to dump me I might be walking funny I might be I had a plan to take you by the hand Till I saw you leaning her against your door Never meant to call, never meant to call Never meant to call when she's in your room Never meant to call, never meant to call Never meant to call when she's in your room Never meant to call, never meant to call Never meant to call when she's in your room Never meant to call, never meant to call Never meant to call when she's in your room I'm halfway there

credits

released November 22, 2019

Alive From Fresno (2019)
By Del Water Gap
Released by Terrible Records, November 22, 2019

Produced, recorded & mixed by S. Holden Jaffe at Hook & Fade in Brooklyn, NY
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

Theory of Emotion, Chastain, To Philly, & Don’t Let Me by S. Holden Jaffe
Laid Down My Arms by S. Holden Jaffe & Sean Tracy
Don’t Say Nothing by S. Holden Jaffe & Benjamin Charles Jaffe
Never Meant To Call by Claud Mintz & S. Holden Jaffe

Special thanks to Gabe Goodman, Justin Gerrish, & Bradly Palmer.

© 2019 Del Water Gap LLC, under exclusive license to Terrible Records

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Del Water Gap New York

Del Water Gap is the solo project of songwriter & producer S. Holden Jaffe. Jaffe currently resides in Brooklyn, New York and is inspired by “romantic encounters and dimly lit rooms.

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